I truly don’t want my page to be all about eating your vegetables and working your body to death. To be honest, that is not how I started, but I did start to make small changes little-by-little. Gradually changing my lifestyle made me fall in love with this “new me” and the process of living in a healthy manner.
I will say, there were times when I wasn’t treating myself the best way I could. I went from eating pasta, pizza, ice cream, all the unhealthy goodies – and then depriving myself of all of those in an instant. This was so difficult on me mentally. It all happened the summer before my freshman year of college and throughout the next couple years after that.
I can tell you I never “followed” a diet. I didn’t use Whole 30, I didn’t drink protein drinks for every meal, and I didn’t do intermittent fasting. However, by cutting out foods my mind switched to labeling foods as “good” and “bad”. If I craved an M&M and ate one… I immediately felt like I had to go run miles and miles just to make up for it. I would call my mom weekly crying – either I ate too many carbs (or so I thought), or it was my time of the month and I just felt yucky (I still have those days). The mental game I had going was taking me on a downhill slope. Throughout this time, I became OBSESSED with food. Thinking about the calories I was consuming all day long, “saving” my calories if I knew I was going to dinner with friends, saying no to ice cream dates, feeling guilty as soon as I ate something “bad”. It was a terrible cycle and I want to say that the progress I have on my relationship with food is better today than it was then, but the body image issues that come along with all of that too… they are a bear to fight that I battle every day still. It truly is a life-long work in progress.
I was using MyFitnessPal to count my calories every day (absolutely horrible idea for myself). I was already cutting so many things out of my diet and this app just gave me so much anxiety. So on top of being away from home for the first year, learning a new body image and living in a whole new environment – MyFitnessPal was not beneficial.
Here is me. A “before” and “after”. The problem with saying before is implying I was less worthy than who I am now. I don’t think that is true. But I do think that by committing to myself and a better lifestyle, I enhanced my life and everything that makes me… ME!
I would tell anyone starting on a journey of weight loss – to do it for yourself and no one else. For years my family tried to get me to get on board with healthy eating and exercise but I was not willing to commit myself. Why? I do not know. Out of fear possibly. Fear that I wasn’t going to be able to make a change and I would fail. Fear of seeing myself so out of shape. I finally made the decision to lose weight for me. I never weighed myself (still have no idea what weight I started out at), I embarked on this journey because I wanted to have a healthier life.
There might be a couple other reasons in there… we will discuss that another day, but for today – I just want you to know that a change is available for anyone. A change in a relationship, with yourself, with your body, your mind, the way you look at food or your religion. So many changes can be made, but be gentle with your mind and take care of yourself first and foremost.
All the love,